Tag Archive: pain

A friend of Speak Don’t Bleed by the name of Megan wrote this months devotional blog. Megan has struggled with an eating disorder for 15 years. Just recently she went into treatment and has come out stronger and more equipped to fight the temptations that Satan likes to taunt her with. She wanted to share her heart with you in hopes that it would be an encouragement to other girls who are struggling.

Lift Up the Hands That Hang Down

by Megan

I am coming to a place where the Lord wants to bring further healing. Therefore, the enemy is fighting all the more fiercely against that healing. I am finding myself facing temptation after temptation to slip back into old patterns. I have been so discouraged the past couple days as I have faced fatigue, feelings of frustration regarding food and body image, and feelings of depression and despondence. This is all my resistance coupled with Satan’s attacks against God’s next moves of healing.

Lift up the hands that hang down! I cannot evade this growth point in my life. I face this crisis of belief head-on, or I miss the healing that the Lord has for me at this juncture.

The Lord is no longer satisfied with where I am. It is time to move on and to step into higher levels of healing, to develop the hind’s feet that He has for me so that He can take me to higher heights. Those strong legs will not develop from these feeble legs if I walk around the mountain that He has for me to climb. This is where the rubber meets the road and where I choose which way I will go. I hate it when what was ok before is now disobedience. But this is refinement, sanctification, and maturity. Praise the Lord that He has done so much restoration and has more to do.

In my frustration tonight, I tried to go to bed early. I became horribly sunburned today, however, and could not sleep for the pain. I believe that the Lord used this sunburn to bring me to His throne. He will use anything I suppose. I opened up my favorite devotional, and it fed my soul in a way that was beyond perfect. This appropriate application of scripture doesn’t always happen, but it seems that God brings it in my crises of belief to call me and to convict me. The author highlighted Hebrews 12:12-13, which says, “Lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees; and make straight the paths for your feet, lest the lame be turned out of the way; but rather let it be healed.”

The author of Hebrews calls us to lift up the hanging down hands. He calls us to strengthen lame knees. I think that this is where we “work out our healing.” God desires to heal me; however, I have a great responsibility in that process. Verse 13 says to make straight the paths of my feet and to go in the right direction. I have the glorious responsibility to choose to walk straight forward to the mountain that so frightens me. I must face the obstacle that depresses and frightens me in order to see God’s supernatural healing and power come in the face of it. My healing is not passive. It is active cooperation with Jehovah Rapha.

So many times, I have come to the crisis of belief, felt the pain of brokenness and surrender, and run away whimpering, back to my comfort zone of illness. This time, I am ready to face it head on, drive through it with hands stretched to the heavens, with strengthened feet, walking a path straight forward in obedience up the mountain of testing. The only way to see the walls come tumbling down around Jericho is to keep marching the entire duration of the seven days. What if they had stopped on day six? The walls would have never fallen, and they would have retreated defeated and discouraged. I am called to march forward, with hands raised in worship and feet set in obedience until I see the promise of the Lord come to fruition. I will plow ahead to see the waters divide, the Red Sea open, the walls come crumbling down, and my full healing take place.


Let’s Go

Are you ready, beloved?

No, Lord. Not yet.

Ok, my love. I will wait.

Are you ready, dear child?

Lord, no, I am too scared.

Child, my love drives out fear, but I will wait.

You must come forth, precious daughter.

But Lord, I don’t know what will happen.
The mountain looks steep.
I cannot imagine climbing it without falling.
How can I ever get to the place of promise?

I have been waiting for you to ask, apple of my eye.
Lift your hands,
Surrender your feet.
Fix your gaze on Me.
Come forth, and we will go together.
Do not delay your healing any longer.

Ok, my King.
I trust you.
Let’s go.


There are a few truths we need to recognize when it comes to keeping bitterness out of our lives or overcoming it in our hearts. The first thing that we need to recognize is that God is a Sovereign God. He is in control of all creation. This is something that was hard for me to grasp after struggling with why God allowed bad things to happen in my own life. God has a permissive will and a direct will. His permissive will allows or permits good or in this case bad, things to happen in order that He be glorified in the end. We may never know the reasons why God allows bad things to happen, or even good things for that matter, and we don’t need to know. We just need to know that God is God and we are not and that His plan and purpose will be accomplished. Jesus , understood this. God permissively allowed His son to be tortured, beaten and crucified. And yet on the cross, Jesus’ response to the mockers was “Father, forgive them…” He understood that God had an awesome plan and that even if it meant the pain and agony He went through He knew that God would be glorified. He didn’t become bitter , He forgave and acknowledge that God is a Sovereign God. It is good for us to be reminded that God is all-knowing. He sees beyond our immediate circumstance and pain and sees the end result. In the example of Jesus, He saw what Jesus’ crucifixion would accomplish, He saw struggling frail sinful humanity and desperately longed for us to be made new and find salvation in Him! I don’t know why God allows things to happen, but I do know that He always has a plan far greater than we could ever comprehend and I know that if you faithfully walk with Him and trust Him in the circumstance you will see one day why it happened. I know that is true in my life and I know it can be true in yours too.

Secondly, we need to realize that God is a just God. He is an impartial God. A quote that I found recently (from christiannet.com) is this “Justice is not an optional product of His (God’s) will, but an unchangeable principle of His character.” He is righteous.

Thirdly, we need to realize that we become what we focus on. If we are focusing on all the horrible things that have happened to us, we are destined for depression, despair and a miserable life. But if we dwell on who God is and His promises, we are well on our way and we will be able to see God doing great things through the circumstances in our lives. When we focus on Christ and not the circumstance we realize that God is indeed in control and we start to see His character more clearly. When we begin to see who we are in relation to who God is, we see our sin more clearly and realize that our sin is no different than the sin of those who have hurt us. Romans 3:23 says, “We all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

We also need to follow Christ’s example of forgiveness. 1 Peter 2:21-23 gives us great insight into His character and His response to those who betrayed and hurt Him. It says, “For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously.” We need to do the same to those who have hurt us. Harboring bitterness only hurts those who harbor it and blinds us to the purpose God has in the circumstance! Forgiveness requires us to see God for who He is, a Sovereign and just God. As we focus on Him and see the one who hurt us as He sees them and us alike, through eyes of love and forgiveness, this then opens up the door for Him to do awesome things in and through a seemingly horrible situation in our lives.

If you are a believer you can hold on to Romans 8:26-28 which says, “In the same way the Spirit, also helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we KNOW that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” How often is the pain of your past too deep for words? I know I have felt that way many times. But isn’t it a comfort to know that God understands even the unsaid!

So what about you? Are you harboring bitterness toward those have hurt you? Do you want to live a life free of bitterness? Then why not get a different perspective of the situation and view the situation through God’s eyes and follow the example Christ has laid out for us. Realize that God has a purpose in every tough time.  And then sit back and watch all that God will accomplish through the circumstance.

Everyone Overcome

 (This devotional blog was written by Amber)

Hey Girls! I’m so excited for the opportunity to write this month’s devotional! Since trusting God was a topic for a chat we had a few weeks ago and since many of you seemed to really be encouraged by the Overcome video that I recently posted on the forum, I thought I’d combine the two to tell you a little about my experience with both. For those of you who have watched the video (and for those of you who haven’t I’ve attached it below) you know that my church over the last two years has endured scandal, murder and terror…and it all happened within the span of 13 months. It started with waking up one morning to find my pastor plastered all over the media and our church, the top headline on just about every newspaper and TV site nation-wide. The details that follow were grueling and are still sometimes hard for me to talk about because the trauma continued for so long before resolution came. But in that moment…in the midst of grief and pain, I had a life-changing decision to make. Would I walk away from the anguish and humiliation we were walking through as a church and find another place to call my house of worship, or would I, with my church family, walk through the valley pained with trauma and fear of not knowing what was to come? I had no idea how long it would take before the trauma ended…I certainly never dreamed it to be a full 13 months, nor did I have any idea that a year into it a gunman would come into our building right after services and murder two of our teenage girls. I’m actually thankful that I didn’t know how long it would endure when I internally agreed to walk it out because I don’t know if I would have made it. But all I could do is walk through one awful day at a time convicted deep inside somewhere by the fact that we were a family, and families stick together.

Through it all, I was in a way forced to lean on God for my strength, because I certainly didn’t have enough on my own.

But I’ll tell you what…I found a new capacity and depth of trusting God during that 13 months than I‘ve ever known before. It took huge faith for me to believe that the humiliation we faced, the reputation that was destroyed, the pain we endured would somehow dissipate and that one day God would lift us out of that place and allow us influence once more. And it was by no means an instant process. A few weeks ago, we experienced the 1 year mark since the shooting and while we’ve healed as a church tremendously, many of us are still walking through the pain on a personal level, trying to decipher how we can ever trust another human, another pastor after such deception for so long. And how you can ever know if a person is truly who they claim to be if the person with the most Christian influence in your life who, in my case had been my pastor for over a decade, had been leading a double life.

How do you trust then?

One of the biggest things we’ve learned as a church is to not put our trust in man, but in God and God alone. And I think that’s something we have to learn on a personal level over time and by experience, but if I can in any way encourage you and bring you a long a little farther so that perhaps you don’t have to experience quite as much pain as I have to get there, I beg you to learn from my experience.

See…it was out of our pain that the song “Overcome” was written and has since become the anthem over our church. Taken from Rev. 12:11, it says, “We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony…everyone overcome!” And I believe the family and core people at our church have done that. It completely amazes me to go to church on Sundays and still see thousands of people gathering to worship God, because according to statistics, with all that happened, our building should be closed down and used for storage. But God had more in mind and how thankful I am.

You too can overcome, by the blood of the Lamb and the word of your testimony.

Prov 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.” On another worship song (I’m a big fan of worship if you can’t tell) it says, “Here in your presence, everything bows before you.” And as I’ve thought about it during this season of life, it’s become a very comforting concept to me. Think about it…EVERYTHING bows before God…all circumstances, all relationships, all situations…your work, your family, your schooling…all your hopes, your fears, your dreams…the mountains, the seas…your pain, your emotions, your desires to self-harm…everything.

Ultimately EVERYTHING must bow before the name of Jesus.

And when I start to think about all that ‘everything’ includes, I find great comfort. I encourage you girls also, to begin thinking about everything in your life that must bow before Christ. Maybe make a list, surrendering them each individually to God. Recently I’ve found myself laying prostrate on my living room floor telling God (and reminding myself) that everything in my life bows before Him. If you’d like, I’d love for you to join me in doing the same. I think it’s a process…a constant proclaiming to God and reminder to ourselves as we let the truth sink deep into our hearts and lives. I would love for you girls to join me in this journey of trusting God. It’s tough…you must be willing to risk it all. But I promise you it’s worth it.

Lay your life before Him, allowing everything to bow before His name. And together, let’s everyone, overcome!

You can find the Overcome Video on Youtube by following these links:

Overcome Story….http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9yoKNzBq3g

Overcome Song….http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6sjYWrpNoCs